Trick-or-Treating Etiquette

Halloween is coming whether you celebrate it or not.  Every year we've taken our kids out, and every year I'm surprised at what I see.  One year, I took the kids down the street, only stopping at houses with their porch lights on, and my kids were turned away from one house with a "we don't celebrate Halloween."  Hmm...funny.  Your carved pumpkin, decorated and lit up porch seem to send another message.  Last year we walked with friends in their neighborhood and a group of teenagers were walking in front of us, eating their candy, and just dropping their wrappers in the street!  My friend called out, "Pick up your trash!  People LIVE here!"  I was both proud and afraid.  They did look pretty sketchy.  You'd think I would stop being surprised at some point, but it still just boggles my mind at how rude and thoughtless people can be.  But if momma didn't teach them not to throw trash on the ground...
With that preface, I'd like to go over some ground rules that I think everyone should follow this (and every) Halloween:

1. If you're NOT giving out candy, turn your porch light off. 

Do you know how long it takes little 3 and 5 year old legs to trudge up your walkway?  Their effort and the fact that they have been rehearsing their "trick or treats," "pleases" and "thank you's" for days, if not weeks, deserves some kind of reward.  Ever seen Big Daddy?  Porch light on = candy.  Porch light off = we won't bother you.  Simple as that.

2. There is no reason why a baby should have a candy bag/bucket. 

Parents, if you want candy that bad, go to Wal-Mart and buy your own bag.  Trick-or-treating is supposed to be for kids.  Are you really going to let your 6 month old eat all those mini Snickers and Butterfingers?  Let's be honest.  Am I saying you shouldn't dress your baby up as the cutest little [insert animal or character here] in the world?  No.  In fact, when Daniel was a month old, I dressed up as Cruella de Vil and he was my little Dalmatian puppy.  Was it cute?  Um, yes.  Did I trick-or-treat for him?  Um, no.  Stroll your baby along with their big brother or sister while they trick or treat, but at this point in their lives, they're just something cute for strangers to "ooh" and "aww" over.  Put that candy bag "for the baby" away.  We all know it's not for them anyway. 

3. Teenagers, same rule applies...

Unless you are trick-or-treating with little siblings AND are dressed up, AND say "trick-or-treat" (don't just hold up your ratchet pillow case or the ever-present ghetto, plastic grocery bag for candy), don't expect anything but one piece of crappy candy (the red, yellow butterscotch, or those black/orange mystery candies) and dirty looks from my house. 

4. Don't drive to the "good neighborhood"

Ever since I was a kid growing up in San Antonio, TX, there was this great myth that the people in the King William District and Alamo Heights gave out full-sized candy bars or money for Halloween.  My parents would never take us to those areas, so I never found out if there was any truth to that, but I'm gonna guess that they were just myths.  My brother and I would walk up and down the streets in our neighborhood and do just fine, always having plenty of candy at the end of the night.  Fast forward to last year's Halloween.  Our family was invited to our friend's neighborhood to trick-or-treat.  First off, in the neighborhood we lived in at the time, no one participated.  No one.  I sat out one year with a bowl FULL of candy and the only kids to come by were the neighbor's grandkids.  That was it...for the entire night.  Anyway, we got to their house early evening, and by the time we got kids loaded up in the wagon and out the door, the traffic was ridiculous!  There were cars lining the main road and driving up and down the streets, stopping to let kids out, run to a door, get candy, load up, drive a few feet and repeat.  This caused problems because they were trying to drive through streets full of families actually walking from house to house/street to street.  If you're that concerned with getting your kids that much candy, they're probably gonna end up with diabetes you're probably better off buying them their own personal bag of candy at Wal-Mart for less than you're spending to gas that SUV you're toting everyone around in.  And there's a smaller chance that you'll hit random pedestrians and small children in your selfish quest to win the non-existent candy consuming competition.  Think about it.   Also, this year we happen to live in one of those "good" neighborhoods.  Do you think I'm spending money on full-sized candy bars, or am concerned with getting the "good" candy?  Heck no!  The houses in these neighborhoods don't pay for themselves!  I can't just forego the rent for October or November because I have to live up to some candy quality standard.  You'll be getting Dum-Dums and Tootsie Rolls if I'm the one that goes candy shopping...which reminds me, I really need to go candy shopping, or I might not even be handing out brand name stuff! 

5. There's nothing "cute" about a pre/teen girl dressed up as a "sexy [anything]"

Lots of people use Halloween as an excuse to show as much skin as they can without being labeled a tramp by giving it another adjective: "sexy."  You've seen the costumes...sexy nurse, sexy cop, sexy ref, sexy Red Riding Hood, and the list literally could go on and on.  It seems like the people who market costumes are going after younger girls every year.   Just look at this Google search.   A few of them are cute, but a lot of those would get a big, "oh HELL no" from me.  Parents, think about and pay attention to what your daughters are wearing.  Don't just go along with everything because you don't want to deal with a fight.  Your job as a parent is to parent (*gasp*).  Their job as a pre/teen is to be annoyed and hate every decision that doesn't go along with what they want.  Know what that's called?  Life.  Deal with it and put your foot down.  Don't be like the mom from Mean Girls.  She was an idiot. 

Last year I saw a girl - probably about 13 or so - with the coolest costume.  Know who she was?  Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty!  She was covered head to toe in camouflage (pants, long sleeved shirt, hat), had a fake beard, and even a Tupperware cup in her back pocket!  You don't have to bare every inch of your body for people to notice you or to think your costume is awesome.  This applies to everyone, no matter how old you are.  And another thing, moms, it's also not cute for you to be dressed as a "sexy [anything]" as you take your young children trick-or-treating.  Try a cute, fun family costume if you want to dress up.  Just keep your clothes on, please.

 

I'm pretty sure I'll think of more when I post this, but these were just a few things I was thinking of offhand.  Trick-or-treating is supposed to be a fun activity for kids.  Let's keep it that way.