Challenge Day 16: in which I no longer want to eat my office supplies

Day 16 and I'm 9 lbs down.    I don't feel like I'm starving all the time.  I'm not looking at my pencils and post-it notes with hungry eyes anymore.  Go ahead, sing the song...I'll wait...
This is nothing to sneeze at.  It's kind of a big deal for me.  It's been hard work, with LOTS of practice in will power and self-control, thanks to the fact that my dear hubby doesn't seem to have either one of those things.  ;)  Do you know how hard it is to come home hungry only to find 2 Papa John's pizza boxes on the stove, and not dive in?  That's okay, no good deed goes unpunished, and since no one put the leftovers away that night, they sat out and had to be thrown out the next day.  HA!  Now NO ONE can eat the pizza!!  Fast forward a week and there's a Freddy's Frozen Custard burger box on the counter...really?  Then he's eating the ice cream on the couch RIGHT NEXT TO ME and says, "wanna bite?"  "nope. (that was a lie...I did want a bite, I just SAID I didn't)"  "come one, one bite won't kill you!" 
One bite might not have killed me, but I already know that if I had allowed myself to give in - not on my cheat night, 'cause really, you SHOULD allow yourself a break every week - it would have changed my whole attitude.  One bite turns into one soda, which turns into another soda, which turns into a #5-Super-Sized-plus-Mac-Sauce-Dr-Pepper-&-Sweet-&-Sour-Sauce-for-my-fries every week or so.  I made a joke on a Facebook thread a week or so ago that soda was my "gateway drug."  It's true though.  I'm fortunate enough to never have had a serious addiction to drugs or alcohol, but I would liken it to offering a glass of wine to a recovering alcoholic.  (Which reminds me of an Elvis Duran Morning Show Phone Tap I heard the other morning where they were pretending to be a Whiskey company wanting to sell to someone's dad who was a recovering alcoholic...and boy did he get MAD!!!!)  People in Drug/Alcohol rehab aren't supposed to hang out in bars or around people who drink because it's super stressful to be tempted so blatantly - and people who are trying to adopt healthy eating habits aren't supposed to surround themselves with unhealthy choices.  Makes sense, right? 
And speaking of temptations, I was invited to go out to lunch with our department for a Boss' Day celebration yesterday.  The restaurant of choice was Razzoo's Cajun Cafe.  If you've never heard of/been to Razzoo's, you're missing out.  It's a fun, lively atmosphere of lights, zydeco, Cracker Barrel-meets-the swamp type decor on the walls and ceilings, and fried food.  Deep. Fried. Food.  Which is usually served with some kind of yummy, starchy side like corn on the cob, rice, slaw, or Cajun seasoned French Fries.  There are 2 salads on the menu.  Two.  One's a Caesar salad, the other a Garden Salad topped with cheese, bacon, egg, and fried onions.  I've eaten at Razzoo's several times since it's opened in Harker Heights, and I have never once ordered the "Rabbit Food."  Why go to a Cajun restaurant and NOT get a shrimp po' boy?  or fried catfish?  or gumbo?  or etouffee?  It just doesn't seem right!  Well, yesterday was a different story.  I knew I'd have a challenge on my hands.  My cheat day was the night before, so I had to stay on track.  So while everyone ordered the grilled chicken etouffee and the popcorn shrimp, I ordered a garden salad.  With no cheese.  And no bacon.  And no fried onions.  And if you read my first challenge-related post, you also know that I nixed the cucumbers, and ordered my balsamic vinaigrette on the side.  I did opt for the addition of blackened chicken on top, just so my salad wasn't so miserable looking and dull.  I'm glad I did.  I ate my salad...probably a little faster than I should have...but the point is that I survived lunch when I thought for sure it was going to be impossible.    
You always have temptations.  As I type this I'm surrounded by temptation in the form of my son's band fundraiser chocolate bars I'm trying to sell for him.  Am I tempted to see how much I could stuff in my mouth with one bite?  Possibly.  Am I tempted to test their title of "World's Finest" chocolate?  Who wouldn't be???  I mean, come on..."World's Finest?"  That just begs to be tested!!  I posted this on Monday and it's true.  There are always temptations, but there are also always choices. 

120 Day Challenge Day One: in which I stare at my cucumber water

A few weeks ago, I saw a shout out on FB calling any women who had at least 30 pounds to lose to join a 120 day challenge, which would include recipes, grocery lists, tips, and encouragement.  I thought about the latest numbers on the scale and did the math.  According to the dreaded BMI chart, I did have "at least" 30 pounds to lose, so I signed up. 
I ordered my Alkaline shake powder and waited...then the shopping list was posted.  I've gotta admit, there were things on there I couldn't pronounce (Quinoa, by the way is pronounced "Keen-wa?"), and even stuff I had never heard of before.  Tahini?  Turmeric? Coconut Yogurt?  Where would I even find that stuff?  Let's face it, Killeen/Harker Heights isn't exactly the hub of all things organic and healthy.  The nearest Whole Foods is in Austin.  Sure, there's a Natural Grocers in Temple, but that's like, ALL THE WAY IN TEMPLE!!!  Who wants to drive 20 miles to shop for groceries when there's a perfectly good HEB down the road?  Hmmm...maybe this whole "laziness" thing is why I have "at least" 30 pounds to lose in the first place.  But I digress...
I had a really bad morning yesterday.  Like, stressful, silent-cry-at-your-desk type morning.  It's pretty common for me to project that mood onto whatever situations I happen to be in.  Example: If I'm having a bad day on a derby practice day, I usually convince myself that I want to quit.  I've never liked derby.  I'm too old for that, and the coach is a jerk anyway.  Of course when I go to practice, I always figure out that those weren't really my thoughts - well, maybe the coach can be a jerk - it was just my bad mood affecting how and what I thought about everything.  That being said, I honestly thought about backing out of this 120 day challenge yesterday.  Who wants to start ALL OVER with their grocery shopping, especially when you know you're ultimately going to be the only one on this crazy diet?  Groceries for a family of 6 isn't cheap, and throw in the words "organic" a few times on that list and you need to sell plasma or extra kidneys to foot the bill!  And who has time to cook, like, 3 meals a day?  We've got football, and dance, and football, and choir, and football, and full time jobs!  And FOOTBALL!!!  I can't cook breakfast for myself every morning - I can barely remember to do my hair before I walk out the door!  (true story)

To add insult to injury, turns out that I can't read, and the challenge was supposed to start YESTERDAY!!  Not October 1st as I had originally thought!  (I don't even want to think about all the mini-candy wrappers that the janitor had to empty out of my trash can last night.)  I hadn't gone shopping for the free-range-organic-cancer-free eggs!  I didn't have almond "dairy-will-probably-kill-you-or-give-you-cancer" milk!!  Oh dear God, don't let kale be on that list...
Fast forward to 8pm.  Our Growth Group was over for the night - which by the way, had met at a local burger joint instead of our normal host home, and I had a Rocky Road milkshake that was pretty darn good - and I knew there was only one thing left to do: Go grocery shopping.
I have never been more sad to shop in my life.  I'm pretty sure that people passing me by thought for sure my dog had just died.  I was literally on the verge of tears the entire time I was searching for fresh cilantro and gluten free pizza crust.  I bought cucumber for Pete's sake!  I HATE cucumber!!  Whose great idea was this???  Oh yeah.  Mine. 
I searched and read labels for about an hour by myself, which was probably a lot better than my dear husband coming with me and sneaking empty-calorie-GMO-laden-cancer-wafers (you might know them as Oreos) in the cart.  I came home and started to put my sad depressing healthy food away.    This is when it got really interesting.  My dear husband decided to laugh help put away the groceries and the looks on his face were priceless.  I mean, the man can barely pick celery out of a veggie line-up, so artichoke hearts aren't exactly on his radar either.  He asked how and when I was going to prep everything (see?  He knows me!).  I told him I was gonna do it then.  He asked what I was planning on eating for lunch.
"Probably something easy like apples and nut butter."
*Guffaws* "Nut butter?!?!?  That sounds like something I have to wash off after the gym!"
Needless to say, that did NOT make today's lunch menu...
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner was prepped last night. *pats self on the back*
Dear husband got me up this morning so that I could make my alkaline breakfast shake.  It was pretty yummy, I must say.  I was even excited about lunch...until I started eating it.  I've had salads before, but they're usually paired with some kind of dressing.  About 1/4 of the way through it, I decided I could eat around the fresh cilantro...and the romaine lettuce...and the baby spinach.  So basically I had an avocado and a tomato for lunch.  That's not exactly upsetting to me.  I love those two fruits!  Now I'm sitting and staring at my water jug.  That's right.  Staring.  I can't bring myself to drink.  You see, in an effort to branch out and embrace different things, I bought 2 cucumbers last night.  You have to know how much I hate cucumbers to know what a big deal this is for me.  Even as I type this, I'm making that face you make when you walk into the bathroom after someone has just let loose.  You know the face...you're probably making it right now, aren't you?  Uh huh - THAT face!  
Cucumbers are supposed to aid in detoxing the body.  They're supposed to be really good for you.  I happen to like them in their pickled state...which is not so good for you (again, "at least" 30 pounds to lose).  So in an effort to "help" my body and my progress, I sliced about half a cucumber (still making the face as I type that word!), sliced 2 limes, and grabbed some fresh mint from my garden.  I think I've taken 2 sips in the 8 hours I've had it.  I can't do it.  I grab it, I set it right back down. 
Okay I just took a drink....*full body shiver*...I don't know if I can do that again. 
I signed up for 4 months of change, healthy eating and exercise.  I've birthed 4 children!  I've finished a triathlon!  I PLAY ROLLER DERBY...and a cucumber is going to end me!  This is going to be a LONG 4 months.