120 Day Challenge Day One: in which I stare at my cucumber water

A few weeks ago, I saw a shout out on FB calling any women who had at least 30 pounds to lose to join a 120 day challenge, which would include recipes, grocery lists, tips, and encouragement.  I thought about the latest numbers on the scale and did the math.  According to the dreaded BMI chart, I did have "at least" 30 pounds to lose, so I signed up. 
I ordered my Alkaline shake powder and waited...then the shopping list was posted.  I've gotta admit, there were things on there I couldn't pronounce (Quinoa, by the way is pronounced "Keen-wa?"), and even stuff I had never heard of before.  Tahini?  Turmeric? Coconut Yogurt?  Where would I even find that stuff?  Let's face it, Killeen/Harker Heights isn't exactly the hub of all things organic and healthy.  The nearest Whole Foods is in Austin.  Sure, there's a Natural Grocers in Temple, but that's like, ALL THE WAY IN TEMPLE!!!  Who wants to drive 20 miles to shop for groceries when there's a perfectly good HEB down the road?  Hmmm...maybe this whole "laziness" thing is why I have "at least" 30 pounds to lose in the first place.  But I digress...
I had a really bad morning yesterday.  Like, stressful, silent-cry-at-your-desk type morning.  It's pretty common for me to project that mood onto whatever situations I happen to be in.  Example: If I'm having a bad day on a derby practice day, I usually convince myself that I want to quit.  I've never liked derby.  I'm too old for that, and the coach is a jerk anyway.  Of course when I go to practice, I always figure out that those weren't really my thoughts - well, maybe the coach can be a jerk - it was just my bad mood affecting how and what I thought about everything.  That being said, I honestly thought about backing out of this 120 day challenge yesterday.  Who wants to start ALL OVER with their grocery shopping, especially when you know you're ultimately going to be the only one on this crazy diet?  Groceries for a family of 6 isn't cheap, and throw in the words "organic" a few times on that list and you need to sell plasma or extra kidneys to foot the bill!  And who has time to cook, like, 3 meals a day?  We've got football, and dance, and football, and choir, and football, and full time jobs!  And FOOTBALL!!!  I can't cook breakfast for myself every morning - I can barely remember to do my hair before I walk out the door!  (true story)

To add insult to injury, turns out that I can't read, and the challenge was supposed to start YESTERDAY!!  Not October 1st as I had originally thought!  (I don't even want to think about all the mini-candy wrappers that the janitor had to empty out of my trash can last night.)  I hadn't gone shopping for the free-range-organic-cancer-free eggs!  I didn't have almond "dairy-will-probably-kill-you-or-give-you-cancer" milk!!  Oh dear God, don't let kale be on that list...
Fast forward to 8pm.  Our Growth Group was over for the night - which by the way, had met at a local burger joint instead of our normal host home, and I had a Rocky Road milkshake that was pretty darn good - and I knew there was only one thing left to do: Go grocery shopping.
I have never been more sad to shop in my life.  I'm pretty sure that people passing me by thought for sure my dog had just died.  I was literally on the verge of tears the entire time I was searching for fresh cilantro and gluten free pizza crust.  I bought cucumber for Pete's sake!  I HATE cucumber!!  Whose great idea was this???  Oh yeah.  Mine. 
I searched and read labels for about an hour by myself, which was probably a lot better than my dear husband coming with me and sneaking empty-calorie-GMO-laden-cancer-wafers (you might know them as Oreos) in the cart.  I came home and started to put my sad depressing healthy food away.    This is when it got really interesting.  My dear husband decided to laugh help put away the groceries and the looks on his face were priceless.  I mean, the man can barely pick celery out of a veggie line-up, so artichoke hearts aren't exactly on his radar either.  He asked how and when I was going to prep everything (see?  He knows me!).  I told him I was gonna do it then.  He asked what I was planning on eating for lunch.
"Probably something easy like apples and nut butter."
*Guffaws* "Nut butter?!?!?  That sounds like something I have to wash off after the gym!"
Needless to say, that did NOT make today's lunch menu...
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner was prepped last night. *pats self on the back*
Dear husband got me up this morning so that I could make my alkaline breakfast shake.  It was pretty yummy, I must say.  I was even excited about lunch...until I started eating it.  I've had salads before, but they're usually paired with some kind of dressing.  About 1/4 of the way through it, I decided I could eat around the fresh cilantro...and the romaine lettuce...and the baby spinach.  So basically I had an avocado and a tomato for lunch.  That's not exactly upsetting to me.  I love those two fruits!  Now I'm sitting and staring at my water jug.  That's right.  Staring.  I can't bring myself to drink.  You see, in an effort to branch out and embrace different things, I bought 2 cucumbers last night.  You have to know how much I hate cucumbers to know what a big deal this is for me.  Even as I type this, I'm making that face you make when you walk into the bathroom after someone has just let loose.  You know the face...you're probably making it right now, aren't you?  Uh huh - THAT face!  
Cucumbers are supposed to aid in detoxing the body.  They're supposed to be really good for you.  I happen to like them in their pickled state...which is not so good for you (again, "at least" 30 pounds to lose).  So in an effort to "help" my body and my progress, I sliced about half a cucumber (still making the face as I type that word!), sliced 2 limes, and grabbed some fresh mint from my garden.  I think I've taken 2 sips in the 8 hours I've had it.  I can't do it.  I grab it, I set it right back down. 
Okay I just took a drink....*full body shiver*...I don't know if I can do that again. 
I signed up for 4 months of change, healthy eating and exercise.  I've birthed 4 children!  I've finished a triathlon!  I PLAY ROLLER DERBY...and a cucumber is going to end me!  This is going to be a LONG 4 months.